CTC Cambridge

Sunday 23 February 2025 

In a continual quest to bring illumination and joy to the nation in these dark times I announced the ride was to go to "the fleshpots of Rushden", writes Greg. On Googling such a promising destination people would have drawn a blank. However, once this ride report is published, the internet will have a gaping hole in its collective knowledge filled. "The fleshpots of Rushden" will be "a thing". A service by CTC Cambridge to the world.

But I digress (no change there – Ed!) for duly foregathered at Shelford Wreck. Sorry, that refers to the road surface around there, well and truly wrecked: I meant Shelford Rec. On arrival we found two eager fleshpot seekers sat huddled together discussing the joys to be unveiled. Neither would vouchsafe the details of their discussions but the picture gives you some idea of what might have passed between them.

The rest of the motley crew (bar a late starter: see later) duly arrived in dribs and drabs. We were joined by Ed and Richard, Mike CC and C, Nick(2) and Peter escaping the clutches of the city (presumably looking for the clutches of Rushden's denizens..)

We departed in fine form at 9.30 on the dot. We only managed to get to Little Shelford before there was a stop. On closer inspection it appeared that Peter was on his knees in front of Sharon who was saying to him about her chain, which had come off: "Don't worry, it's waxed and so quite clean".

Once all was satisfactorily restored we set off once again for Newton. Up Newton hill we laboured, with the gaps between the front and rear of the group ever widening. Truly this was going to be a slog as there was a stiff SSW breeze blowin, with gusts exceeding 50 kph30 mph. The ride was destined to head into this wind all the way to coffee...

We slogged on through Newton and took the more windswept and open route to Fowlmere, avoiding the Thriplow dog leg. Greg was swift to point out that they were following Andy's route and it clearly none of his fault. Andy may have missed the ride but he makes a number of appearances: see later.

Uwe was channeling his inner American (turning up late after the hard work has been done) by joining the ride at the Fowlmere bus stop. We hardy starters were somewhat dishevelled and part worn; he was looking fresh and ready for the challenge. Mike C at this point opted for a strategic departure, whilst the rest struggled on.

The stretch to Flint Cross is quite open and into the wind; there was more cursing of Andy's route, though Nick(2) earned high praise for an extended stint at the front.

We managed to cross the A505, which is never restful, and now had the slog up to the ridgeway. A leading group hared off, with the majority taking a more measured pace up hill and into the wind. We reunited at the top as we came into Barley.

We were then led on a scenic dog leg round the back of Barley, an opportunity to look at the overflow coachpark used by Richmonds. Oooh Andy, you are spoiling us!

We rejoined the B1368 only to see that Adrian had once again done his reappearance trick for there, way up ahead, were both Adrian and Ed. The last shall be first...

At Barley we made a right turn outside the "Prince's Pissoir", as the Tally Ho pub is known locally. This is a strange renaming, but this was where Prince William found relief one day when he was piloting the Air Ambulance and had landed locally for a patient. This was followed by a lively exchange about this sanitary subject.

This discussion was a useful diversion since now we were hauling uphill into a building wind, and the rain had started. After more loud cursing of Andy's route, led mainly by Greg who was anxious to deflect blame, we found ourselves riding along on some of the highest and most exposed roads in the area. This was a suboptimal way to spend the morning; no wonder that Richard, Ed and Adrian had absconded at the 'Prince's Pissoir', a good decision.

The rest of the group struggled on, with cries of 'Are we nearly there yet' from Sharon and Mike CC ringing in our ears. In truth it was still another 10 km6.5 miles of misery!

These too eventually passed and the fleshpots of Rushden hove into view. For those who have missed this treat, here's a description. This Rushden is a hamlet of about 20 houses, a now defunct pub, a rather over-engineered bus stop (one for Uwe) and a garden centre which is actually half a dozen poly tunnels.

In one of these poly tunnels there is a café. It has the most extensive range of cakes on offer of anywhere locally, a single lady serving on our arrival and three other customers. You might conclude that the cakes would be old and tired but no, they were fresh and enticing. Apparently this place does a roaring trade at the weekends and on sunny days. On a wet and cold Thursday it is somewhat less successful. Greg declaimed loudly on arrival 'Welcome to the fleshpots of Rushden' to the assembled masses. The woman serving looked quizzically at this damp and bedraggled nutter and her colleague emerged from out the back roaring with laughter. She at least understood the irony.

Orders placed, we duly sat around a table placed strategically in from of a 65W heater. Yes, it appeared to be a light rather than projecting any actual heat, and the poly tunnel was actually colder than outside. No wonder the uneaten cakes stayed fresh! Somewhere here is a joke about more "fresh pots" than "fleshpots" but we should always avoid the obvious.

Uwe had strategically placed his 'man bag' so he could "bag" the one large comfortable chair at the table. That was a nice try, but his diversion to place the bag meant he was not actually in the queue to order, whereas Greg was, and he got his order in first, was back to the table first, and able to claim the chair. You can expect regular updates in subsequent ride reports as this duel over chairs is surely set to continue. As someone said, 'What are you, 14 years old?' We both nodded.....

Peter then put on his metaphorical Welfare Officer's Hat. Suits you, sir! Did we all have our CTC Cambridge "ICE" (In case of emergency) cards with us? There was a 50% success (or fail) rate. However, Greg pointed out this was a somewhat archaic way to carry emergency details since on phones now there is a facility to store these details, including medication, organ donor views and allergies. There is a button on the lock screen that takes you to this information without unlocking the phone, and it's now the first place any responder would look. There was general confusion/amazement etc as Greg explained this, so as a further service to the wider CTC Cambridge group I urgently recommend you look at doing this on your phone. It is then available when you're on a ride and whenever you're out and about. Advice on setting up your ICE information on a mobile phone (from CTC Coventry).

At departure time we started to gather our belongings together, including Mike CC who had strategically spread his gloves out that they might dry. Vain hope.

However our preparations were interrupted by a loud thrumming. It was presenting 'Biblically' outside. Uwe and Nick (2) went into "techno" mode. No, not an 80's dance routine, but looking up the details of the rain radar. They were sure it would pass in a couple of minutes. They were right and we then departed in the dry.

Now things looked up! The rain was behind us and so was the wind. We fair flew from Rushden's flesh pots to the A505. The electric bikes could hardly keep up! It was glorious; I duly took all the available praise for this most marvellously thought-through route that had the wind and hills now behind us!

The A505 crossing was now facilitated by a sugar beet lorry doing a right turn which slowed the traffic. Greg confidently pointed at the slowing lead driver behind the lorry and held the flat of his hand to them. The appearance of a man in hi viz pointing and looking directly at a slowing driver had the desired effect on both sides of the road and the traffic was brought to a standstill to facilitate our regal transit.

Ashwell was soon passed and we were still zooming home on this very well-constructed route – well done Greg! We soon got to Meldreth where Uwe departed, off to see the film Dog Man with a horde of young relatives. We said taking that number of excited young children to the cinema meant he was barking mad and he probably was at the end of the film!

Enough of this doggerel, I hear you cry, it has gone on too long. However, like the ride the best was to occur just at the finish. For as the remainder of the group came onto the A10 cycle path at the Shepreth crossroads we beheld a scene of some dramatic content. A Jaguar XF sat across the carriageway had been "T-boned", clearly done by the driver of a Renault that was off the road in the ditch. With considerable English sang froid (surely an oxymoron!) the traffic was concentrating on weaving around the somewhat stunned victims of the contratemps. The children from the Renault were milling around discussing their experience.

The CTC Cambridge Crew stepped forward in fine form. We were all wearing high-viz so it was a simple matter for one of us to stand at each of the four roads at the junction and assume traffic control duties. In the meantime the remaining members went and checked the various passengers of the two cars – all OK, and then to ensure the appropriate services required had been contacted and just generally brought order from the chaos.

Once the jams had been cleared Mike CC found a couple of red triangles from the respective vehicles and strategically placed them to warn approaching vehicles. He hadn't allowed for the blinding stupidity of DPD's finest when the driver of a white van executed a right turn onto the A10 and proceeded to drive straight over one of the aforementioned triangles. Whilst the triangle shattered into numerous pieces Mike supplied the rear of the departing van with some choice Anglo Saxon. Both children from the Renault looked up and took mental notes as their vocabulary was significantly expanded.

We left them to it to head off to our respective homes. Pissoirs, winds, fleshpots and smashes – just another average CTC Cambridge ride!

69 km43 miles, 500m of climbing, and general mayhem. Great route planning then! Greg