CTC Cambridge

Thursday 7 November 2024 

"Hmmm, where to start?", writes Greg. Well, the ride started at Great Shelford so perhaps that's where this will begin – with the motley crew of Village Afficionados duly gathered.

Andy was there – bright and breezy and full of hail fellow charm – which was to be tested once more later in the ride. Sarah was nursing some alternative emotions to these – less chipper with the thought of a) appearing in the blog or b) the new US President. You can select which you think most appropriate. Sharon was fine-tuning her departure outfit – little point in this since it would be changed after ten minutes – and Avril was leading the city breakaway gang. Tony and Ed made up the triumvirate of chaos (see later)

There was Nick (mk. 1) who was chatting to Nick (mk. 2). You can decide amongst yourselves whether the higher the mark of Nick means better performance (as in Spitfires) or lower resale value (as in Jaguar E-Types).

Also along for the ride (pun intended) were such luminaries as Susan (not last to arrive this time) and David W. Mike CC was doing some last minute stuff with John S who was putting in a flying visit....Sweeping in at 9.32 on his new touring bike (it must be winter) was Uwe.

The cast assembles

The initial cast now assembled it was time to begin the ride named Pickle Power. The reasoning will be divulged later – a pathetic attempt to get those already bored by now with my witterings to stay with the blog to the bitter end in order to understand the reasoning behind the ride name. I would just note that, despite the name being advertised in the ride notification, absolutely no one asked about it. Truly my efforts are in vain, methinks.

Greg led us off boldly, bravely and not a little stylishly (well I'm writing the thing so I might as well get some credit). We were headed towards Little Shelford on the Whittlesford Road. We had just turned round the sharp left before exiting the village when cries from astern brought proceedings to a halt.

Your writer has long sought fame and it was now mine since I had managed to achieve what no leader had ever done before – towit losing three people in the space of less than a mile.

Ed, Tony and Avril (the triumvirate of chaos, you will recall) had declared UDI. However, this was unbeknownst to us. Much discussion ensued (well some) whilst Sharon took the delay as an opportunity to change her layering (told you!) Eventually Sharon (now suitably attired) offered to return to see where Ed and co were. Nick (2) volunteered to accompany her. They set off and Andy, feeling he too should assist, also returned to the start. The rest of us awaited developments...

Eventually it was established that they had taken route B and the main group reformed.

Have a brief moment of pity (and I mean brief) for Ian B who was waiting for the group in Whittlesford. He couldn't quite work out how it took us 30 minutes to get to the cycle path turn-off. Frankly neither can I.

But there we were and we headed across the track which brought us out in Sawston. The Triumvirate of Chaos were at the Sawston lights looking, it must be said, none the worse for wear for their transgressions. All's well that ends well or some other such cliché is required to be deployed at these moments. Actually Shakespeare usually has it right – either Much Ado About Nothing or Comedy Of Errors would appear apposite.

Where were we? Who knows? Talking of which – you will have noticed in the cast list the absence of Adrian. This was already giving me, as leader, some concern. I had decided to take the 'Adrian Gambit', as it is known. That is, to go on a route new and untested to the leader. This is never a concern because, Garmin notwithstanding, if Adrian is on the ride it is simply not possible to be traversing a road, byway, track or lane that he doesn't know. It is the Adrian Gambit simply because there is no risk and no luck involved. If Adrian is with you it is simply Not Possible to get lost. However, there we were, heading East to Terra Incognita, without Adrian. There is brave and there is foolish – I feared I would be shown to have been the latter...

But first we had to get to coffee. That required the Abington cycle path to Linton and then on to Bartlow. The group was making steady time in the absence of wind (though the sun, too, was absent at this stage). The morning mirk, a technical meteorological term, was accurately applied. What our Scottish cousins would call Dreich.

We hauled ourselves through Nosterfield End and then we were cycling the long downhill to Haverhill – which we agreed should really be Havervalley given its location at the boittom and not the top. However, most of the inhabitants of this place seemed somewhat bemused at our arrival. Lycra is not the standard operating policy of this place. The 'Spoons was half full – and quite a few were on their second pint of the day. Without fear of contradiction the CTC Cambridge members were the only lycra clad people either in 'Spoons or for a good couple of miles in any direction.

However, that didn't stop us splashing out! Andy had a bacon sandwich (with 4 extra rashers!) He claimed it was an App Ordering Error....yer right! Uwe had ordered the healthy option of a bowl of fruit. Much confusion in the kitchen as 'This Has Never Happened Before In Haverhill'. The kitchen sent out fruit on a pancake dosed with maple syrup. Uwe was (sorely) tempted but he resisted....

Mike CC had no such will power and decided he'd fit right in – his kind of town. Eschewing the temptation of draught bitter at £1.79 a pint ( too early even for him) he did however go for the 'Small English'. Once suitably restored (bacon, sausage, beans and toast for about 20p) he was fit to go.

But no, we couldn't leave. Some goodbyes were required. Ian B, Tony and David W had had enough and exited left. Sharon had some more clothing rearrangement to do. However, the major delay was Uwe who had to replace his bag on his back rack. This is a precision task where the bag must be centred both laterally and longitudinally and deployed absolutely level. Anything else could offend his Germanic sensibilities.

German precision

Along with a number of other CTC Cambridge members, he has also commented on the apparition (or is it abomination?) of the one of your correspondent, which gives grave offence. A slovenly, limp and dangling affair and as for the bag......

Limp and flaccid

We were now risking all. I was relying on my Garmin as we set off. It took us into the most scenic parts of Haverhill, well a 1970's industrial estate. This tortuous route was uphill and winding but had the advantage of avoiding a busy route to the ring road. We were then on country lanes – the road to Helions Bumpstead being both a delight and completely unknown to all (pace Adrian – you weren't there!) Indeed, I was truly thrilled to have found such a lane and for Ed to exclaim that he had never ridden that road. Twice in two rides I have confounded Ed, a CTC Cambridge rider with many, many rides under his belt, and ridden on lanes new to him. I felt Mission Accomplished! What's more, we carried on with a further lane less travelled and so spent some 5 miles enjoying quiet, new lanes as we made our way towards Saffron Walden.

We emerged into Ashdon on better known roads just as the gloom lifted and the sun threatened an appearance. We hauled ourselves to the top of the hill and waited to regroup.

Sarah joined us and announced that Andy had a puncture and we should go on. That hail fellow mood was now a thing of the past, clearly. This is now the third recent ride when La Famille Carlyle has retired early and deflated. This is clearly the end of their run of 3 which was sparked, obviously, by their claim that they didn't really get punctures nowadays. Hubris before Nemesis (more a Greek tragedy than a Shakespeare play then).

The rest of us continued into the Market Square of Saffron Walden. The culinary delights on offer included a bench (in the weak sun) for sandwiches, a coffee from Costa or the healthy option from Greggs. Nick (mk 2) took the latter and the rest took one or other of the other options. Uwe and Susan headed off early – probably to avoid further insults in the blog (Good Plan!)

After a leisurely break we set off on the final leg. Negotiating the 1 way system we then went past Audley End and started to ascend Chestnut Avenue – a glorious sight in the late autumn as the colours were stunning. We did Coploe Hill, noting a half mile wall of sugar beet on our left. That will take a few lorries to haul it away to Bury St Edmunds for processing! We were lucky not to encounter any of the beet lorries ourselves.

Onwards on well known lanes – Ickleton, Hinxton, Duxford and at Whittlesford Greg and Nick (mk. 2) bore away for Newton whilst the remaining participants completed the circuit back to Gt Shelford. Some 50 miles and over 2000ft of climbing. A lovely day in the saddle with no wind and much banter. What's not to love?

Oh, and the Pickle Thing? Almost forgot. Well, November 7th is Pickle Evening when the Royal Navy dresses up, has a fairly liquid dinner and celebrates the arrival of HMS Pickle on our shores – the fast schooner despatched from Trafalgar to bring the glad tidings of the rout of the French fleet at Trafalgar. I merely presumed that our erudite membership had been celebrating themselves the night before the ride – hence Pickle Power as they pedalled around burning off the carbs from the previous evening. Ha, turns out no one even noticed the name let alone understood the reference. Shakespeare, Greek Tragedy and the defeat of the French – essential references for any good blog write up and I delivered a full house. Oh, and I didn't even get us lost...Greg